Childfree Woman Gets Advised by Redditors on What to Say to Her New Parent Friends

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  • 01
    Font - r/TrueOffMyChest u/heylistenlady • 18h I have no idea what to say when someone has a baby
  • 02
    Font - So, I'm childless by choice, going on 40. A lot of my cousins are younger and several of them are pregnant or about to have kiddos and two just recently had kids. Cue the big family text announcements and pictures and everybody freaks out and "squee"s in response and I just sit here thinking "Oh boy, I can't relate to this at all."
    via heylistenlady
  • 03
    Font - And let me say...I actually love kids! I really do and I have four nieces who are awesome and I love spending time with. But they are all now over 8 years old. Also, some of the cousins' kids have gotten older and they are all awesome (seriously, not a brat among them!) But babies? I just can't. When we are visiting and someone asks "Do you wanna hold the baby??" after a bunch of people passed the little one around, I freeze. Can I ever just say "No thanks, holler back when they're at lea
    via heylistenlady
  • 04
    Font - But babies? I just can't. When we are visiting and someone asks "Do you wanna hold the baby??" after a bunch of people passed the little one around, I freeze. Can I ever just say "No thanks, holler back when they're at least 5."? lol I never do of course, I always oblige and hold the lil nugget for a few and pretty quickly say something like "Ok, little one, now Auntie Sue wants to see you!" and pass em off. It just makes me feel like a total jerk. I have zero maternal instinct (one of th
    via heylistenlady
  • 05
    Font - I will also note...I have never confessed this out loud to any parent that I have ever known. And I never would! So...just a confession cause I feel like the anthesis of how a woman is supposed to feel when babies are around.
    via heylistenlady
  • 06
    Organism - Kare_TheBear 18h 43.0k ↓ Don't be happy they are having a kid. Be happy that they are happy. heylistenlady 18h ... 4 1.7k ↓ OP You know what, that's a really great way to reframe it, thank you for that!
    via Kare_TheBear
  • 07
    Font - Fredredphooey 17h 296 You're doing great so far. Have some stock phrases in your back pocket like, what an amazing baby! Or congratulations on the baby! And as for holding it, just say, I'm not very good at it, let someone else have a turn for now. OstrichAlone2069 14h 6分 115凸 also appropriate - "thank you but not today, I slept funny and my arm/neck is a bit sore."
    via Fredredphooey
  • 08
    Font - BalloonShip 16h. Edited 191 fiel What you say is: "congratulations." If it's the mom and she birthed the child: "how are you feeling?" Other good options are: "are you getting much sleep?" "how happy are you?!" "I saw the picture on FB and Baby is very cute." You do not have to mean any of this or care about the answers (though if it's your friends you should care). As an alternative, you could point and yell at the top of your lungs: "OMIGOD!!! IT'S A BABY!!! LOOK OUT!!!!!!" Can I ever j
    via BalloonShip
  • 09
    Font - Remarkable-Eye1207 17h 495 You are not a jerk, my friend. I think you're very WISE and self-aware! You know this about yourself and made the informed decision to not go down that road. You didn't give in to societal pressure to have a family. That's rare! ... heylistenlady 16h ☆ 51 凸 OP Haha thank you! I was like 28 before I finally told my mom "Stop telling me I'll change my mind, I WON'T" ... The pressure is real, but I think by now everybody knows...no babies for this gal!
    via Remarkable-Eye1207
  • 10
    Font - humphreybbear 15h You don't need maternal instincts to just be happy for someone you love. I think you're over complicating things. 15 15 Someone you love is doing something big and challenging, and they're excited. Be excited for them. Celebrate their happiness. Say I'm happy for you and wish you all the best. That's all you have to do. Replace having a baby with running a marathon. You'd say 'Wow, good for you guys! I know you can do this! You'll be great! I'll be cheering for you!"
    via humphreybbear
  • 11
    Font - Santrudo 18h 471 ↓ My patience and english are not there to type you a big response, but felt the need to do haha. I always say my wish for freedom is much bigger than the wish for children, i never hold babies because im afraid i drop it, nobody wants to take that risk. Also just speak out so people like us will become more "normal". I was suprised how many likeminded people there are. heylistenlady 18h OP I think your English is great! :) ... 分 29 凸 And I have never wanted kids. Far too
    via Santrudo
  • 12
    Font - hopefthistime 16h Just say congratulations. ... 418 ↓ They're happy, that's what you're congratulating. With respect, your feelings about not wanting a baby yourself are not really relevant.
    via hopefthistime
  • 13
    Font - 9 ↓ Spend Basic 15h I'm also child-free and don't have that motherly instinct or even 'baby fever', for some reason it just not apart of me but when others that are close share the news, I just feel happy for them lol. Even when I don't feel the excitement, I just say " wow, I'm happy for you and hope this new life experience treats you well !! and I do my absolute best to sound as genuine as I can. When it comes to the newborn part you can always excuse yourself by saying "they're so pre
    via Spend_Basic
  • 14
    Font - leeshylou 16h You don't have to be able to relate to congratulate someone. That's kinda weird..? .. 60 凸 When my gay friend moved in with his boyfriend I said "yay!". I'm not gay myself, and I'm single. Can't relate but still can be happy for them. When friends have babies I'm thrilled for them! I have teenagers and definitely do not want any more bebies.. but I know it's what they want so "yay!". Excited for them. When friends get engaged or buy their first home or a fancy new car.. I'm
    via leeshylou
  • 15
    Human body - kasha789 18h. Edited 分 15 凸 Just say congratulations! So exciting. If they pass around baby just say aww cute but I'm all good. No need to overthink it. ..
    via kasha789
  • 16
    Font - o YoshiandAims 16h 11凸 I don't hold peoples babies, generally. I keep my hand full and will step away after the "no, thankyou", or "maybe another time."if someone moves to make me. Despite me clearly and politely saying no. When people announce I give a generic "oh, That's cool, congrats! Thank-you, Just familiarize yourself with the simple generic answers, you don't need to pretend to be crazy excited or anything, just simple, general, the politely appropriate response. Similar any time
    via YoshiandAims
  • 17
    Font - brieles 17h 48↓ I've never been much of a baby person either but I love the person having the kid and I love that they're happy. It's ok to say you're not a huge baby person but always show that you support the parent and care about them and their kids. That's all people really want. ...
    via brieles

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